The Substances Quotes List Page
"Beer: Take pure spring water. The finest grains. The richest ingredients. And then run them through a horse."
"What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?" - W. C. Fields
"Decaffeinated coffee? Kinda like kissing your sister" - Bob Irwin
"Yeah but there's that whole cannibal thing. A little wine, a little dancing, and the next thing you know your date is eating your thigh. You know, that whole thing" - The Hamster King
"This morning I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it."
"It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion."
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on" - Dean Martin
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